We here at The Radish asked our loyal viewers to anonymously submit their wildest Valentine’s Day fantasies—and boy did we get some spicy responses. So, Brooklyn Tech, here are your craziest fantasies.

My fantasy is to meet two girls and go to a mud pit. Then, I would show them my pet pigs, Frank and Connie, and we’d feed them. Frank and Connie will love to go wild, so we’ll probably end up getting completely covered in dirt. Haha!

I’d like to be in bed with someone in a pure white silk outfit and a bowl of chocolate fudge. We’d watch some TV and eat the fudge. I’ve always wanted to do that but my mom says the fudge will ruin the white silk. This year, I’m gonna be a naughty kid and eat the fudge with my friend anyway because it tastes so, so good.

A fantasy? Well, I’ve always wanted to be with someone in a Zelda costume. I’d wear a Link costume… Basically, my goal is to live in the Legend of Zelda. I would get to meet Julius Caesar and Netflix would be free, but only for me. And… I’d probably get pretty dirty running around in the fantasy?

You guys certainly know how to get dirty and fantasize! Though some of you need to get your heads out of the gutter! We asked for crazy fantasies, not (*$)@# #%@ (&@^& !#*&#$  #&%^*@#&%  $#  #&#$!