Andrew Berman ∙ 03/02/2022 ∙ February 2022
Brooklyn tech Is famous for its large student body and its unique academic environment, but not many students are aware of the school’s supernatural side. Have you ever walked down the hall and heard strange echoes? Have you been alone in the basement and seen movement in the shadows? Ever used the bathroom? If you have, you've likely experienced some of BTHS's paranormal properties. Want to learn more about these funky phenomena? Well, now you can! The Radish has put together a handy list of cryptids to guide you on your journey through the halls.
The Rat King A mysterious student at Tech calling himself “The Rat King” has been roaming the basement halls for the past few weeks. He’s been spotted gnawing on school lunches one of his friends smuggles for him from the cafeteria. Witnesses say he’s amassed a horde of rats who follow him around and do his bidding after being fed the school lunch scraps even he can’t bear to eat (He has a sensitive tummy).
Boy’s Bathroom Jerry
Recently a crocodile had made itself at home in the boy’s bathroom on the 4th floor. Some have started calling him Jerry. How he got there we can’t say, but so far he’s been more or less harmless, besides a few rolls of toilet paper getting eaten. Some have begun making offerings to him, flushing food down the toilets while chanting “ALL HAIL JERRY!” Offerings range from notebooks to scrambled eggs, and even a pineapple.
The Mystery Vending Machine Nobody knows where the mystery vending machine came from, but multiple students claim to have had encounters with it. They all have matching descriptions of it. It’s just like all the others but in red. It only accepts euros, and it gives change in pesos. On the side, it has the description “Property of the 4th and a half floor.” All witnesses claim to have seen it in different places, some in the basement and others outside the mezzanine or even in the bathrooms. According to one student, if you stare at it for long enough you can hear it scream. Items in the machine are said to include bagged chicken parmigiana, 25 cent watermelons, and a sexy fireman calendar from 1995.
The couple that keeps making out in the hallway (Please stop it’s scaring me) There’s nothing cryptic about this, you're just… kinda doing a lot there in front of a lot of people…
Heelie Kid (He’s so fast!)
Someone’s been zooming through the halls on a set of heelies. He’s going so fast no one’s ever seen his face, just a blur and a pair of shoes. Some students claiming to be his friends say he just finished binge-watching Speed Racer and Cars 2. Rumor has it he’s rolling away from an AP European History test.
My advisor (The invisible man)
I tried to email him but Google said the email address he gave me doesn’t exist. Nobody else in my grade has him as an advisor. If anyone knows Mr. McTeacherface please let me know. I’m currently failing his class.
The lunch ladies Nobody knows who they are, but the lunch ladies seem to be everywhere. They check our health screenings, yell at us for not wearing our masks, and give us “food.” Who are these people who we allow to control our lives? Nobody seems to know. We don’t know where they came from either. According to Mr. Newman they just “came with the building.”