Naiar Islam ∙ 06/25/2021 ∙ June 2021
From its papery brown skin to its chewy texture, cardboard is the perfect snack. Whether you’re on the go or just vibing at home, this delectable material is available everywhere. A quick monch can fill you up for a whole month. A feast can fill you up for a lifetime; you won’t have to eat ever again—and you shouldn’t! Not only is cardboard cheaper than “real” food, but it’s also recyclable and vegan. Now you can enjoy eco-friendly foods for a fraction of the cost. Packed with protein, a meatier taste, and less meat, cardboard is a tasty alternative to government-issued “meat.” So eat cardboard today! Not only is it available everywhere, but it’s also vegan and cheap. This Meatless Monday, try eating the lunch tray instead of the so-called “food” the government wants you to eat. On Friday, we raid the Amazon warehouse for that good, cronchy cardboard they’re hoarding.