Jonathan Jiang ∙ 01/07/2021 ∙ December 2020
Curious George is a beloved cartoon character known by many. To this beloved cartoon character, every day is a new day with new things to explore. However, if, god forbid, there were no more things to explore one day, and nothing to appease his curiosity, his curiosity would surely turn into furiosity. This just in: “A 34-foot chimpanzee was caught red-handed wreaking havoc on the metropolitan area!” With 24 reported dead—and surely many more within his stomach—officials speculate that this is most definitely a safety hazard.
As people frantically run around trying to stop him, Curious George leaves houses with nothing to salvage as he continues his pilgrimage towards the heart of the city. Donning 16-inch deep fur and massively oversized teeth, this ape is unbothered by the futile attempts of these pesky little humans.
“I don’t know why this happened! Since the day I rescued him from that mysterious island in the Indian Ocean, he’s only ever been cute and curious,” said The Man in The Yellow Hat, the beast’s alleged owner. “All that curiosity was bound to become furiosity sometime, though. And, as we all know, furiosity is larger than curiosity.”
And there you have it, the origin story of this overgrown chim— The author of this article has since been eaten by a giant, furious monkey.