Naiar Islam ∙ 12/23/2021 ∙ December 2021
The Radish has the inside scoop of the couple that everyone’s been talking about.
Meet Sue: she’s your average Brooklyn Tech student. She’s seemingly just like the rest of us- except she’s dating acclaimed actor Leonardo DiCaprio!
The lovebirds met after he spotted her exiting the school building. “When he laid eyes on me, he said ZAMN😍 and I knew we were meant to be,” says Sue. We reached out to the Critters 3 star for confirmation. Leonardo (not the turtle) responded “No, we’re not dating.” His eyes were darting around the room. “Wait, this isn’t an actual newspaper, right? Then yes.”
Sue and her alleged boyfriend spend much of their time with each other. They like taking long walks on the beach together. He helps her with her Algebra II homework, she helps him cross the street. They spend their days going on picnics and hiding from law enforcement.
The couple has even agreed to an interview together! Here’s an excerpt of the exclusive content you can access with Radish Premium:
INTERVIEWER: So, how serious is it between you two?
SUE: We’re so in love!
Academy Award® Winner Leonardo DiCaprio: We’re like Romeo and Juliet from my hit film Romeo + Juliet.
INTERVIEWER: Interesting. You know, Juliet was very young. Romeo was implied to be much older.
Sweaty Leonardo DiCaprio: (sweating) …Right.
SUE: You okay?
Leonardo The Caprio: Let’s move on to the next question.
INTERVIEWER: (Visibly disgusted) Alright, bozo. (Softer, to Sue) How long have you been together?
SUE: For a couple months now.
INTERVIEWER: How exactly did you start dating?
Teen Choice Award Winner Leonardo DiCaprio: Is it just me or does this feel like an interrogation?
INTERVIEWER: (taking off disguise to reveal FBI uniform) Funny you should ask.
FBI AGENT/INTERVIEWER: We got him!
Leonardo The Creepio: ZAMN😔