How Watching Sweaty Buff Men Play Volleyball Helps Fight Climate Change

Milo Kiely-Miller03/14/2023




One thought has been keeping me sane after my fifth(?) rewatching of the 80s-nostalgia-inducing movie Top Gun: Maverick: “gee, am I glad this movie combats climate change with its buff sweaty men.”

In my absolute favorite scene from any movie ever, the guys play dogfight beach football. If you haven't seen the scene already, then go do that: Top Gun Maverick | Dogfight Beach Football

I promise you won’t regret it. Watching those muscled men roll around slick in the sand, tossing grimy footballs around, I remember that it’s not just hot in here. The planet is getting hotter. So, watching sweaty buff men playing fake football has increased my awareness of climate change. Roll the clip again!

Dissidents of the Sweaty Buff Man theory (SBM theory) argue that undiscovered beaches, beaches without men dripping in sweat and water, are also extremely important to the ecosystem. SBM-free beaches are, after all, one of the only places animals can talk where no humans can hear them.

But would we even be paying attention to the beaches at all without the SBM? And could what those animals are saying really be that important? Exactly. The sweaty buff men are crucial for battling climate change.

More Articles: Feast on these!

how to cope when your club advisor is getting married

Has this ever happened to you? It’s the first week of school and you’re sitting in your eleventh g...

Maxime Ennis

All Articles!