The following is a message from Dr. Holden, Brooklyn Technical High School’s Assistant Principal of Structural Integrity, Civil Engineering, and Vending Machines (The latter is irrelevant to the matter of the message).

---

          Dear students,

          As you may have noticed when you arrived back to school in the new year, portions of the scaffolding around our building had been removed. Craaaazy, right? Hell, even I was surprised!

          Unfortunately, due to several unforeseen consequences, we have to bring back the scaffolding.

          Firstly, the entire north side of the building has collapsed. My bad! Turns out that removing the literal and figurative backbone of the building causes some minor avalanche-like behavior.

          Additionally, the strong winds of the season have caused further problems. Quick Tip: If you feel like a wall is about to cave in, it’s not a gut feeling, move out of the way!

          Despite being a specialized high school, we are also seeing a rapid wave of stupidity amongst our scholars as a result of this change. Students, used to Tech looking like a cargo container wrapped in fishnets, have been unable to recognize the school. We’ve been having a record-breaking rise in absences, which we’ve been assuming is from students not entering the school, believing it is some new fancy radio station. These absences could also be a result of the aforementioned collapse of the north side of the building. Your guess is as good as mine.

          Finally, as I am being informed right now, we will have to put scaffolding inside the building as well. Due to the building’s millenniums of age and general cardboard-like rigidity, the walls are now caving inward. Apologies if your classrooms are now half the size.

          Sorry again for any inconvenience. If you have any questions, please come see me in my office on what used to be the north side. I'll be behind a slightly smaller pile of rubble than the main, big one.