Rating New SGO Store Items

Samantha Colon12/23/2022




ItemsThis year Brooklyn Tech has decided to introduce three shiny new items to the SGO store! These items have driven Tech students into a nervous frenzy, unable to choose which ones are worthy of spending their spare change on during daily visits to the SGO store. To help our fellow Technites, The Radish has decided to rank each item, objectively.1. The Tech Pen (0/5) The Tech Pen is the first and worst item on our list with 0 radishes out of 5. Although the Tech Pen has a sleek design with the Tech logo stamped onto it, it does not have many other positives. It costs $50 for this cheap plastic pen with barely enough ink to last a day. The Tech Pen is also required for tests or else you risk a 100 point deduction from your class average, which is not very fun. :/2. The Tech Beret (2.5/5)In the middle of the list is the Tech beret, which deserves its place here because it is the most mid item on this list. The Tech Beret is not horrible, but it's plain, extremely boring, and average in every single way. There is nothing memorable about this scratchy disk of acrylic wool other than the faded, pathetic Tech logo stamped across the front. Weak. Overall: 2.5 radishes out of 5. 3. The Tech Scented Pencil (4/5)Last on our list is the Tech Scented Pencil. A pack of 2 Tech Scented Pencils currently costs $20–which is cheap compared to other SGO store items. The pencil scents aren't your everyday regular fruit scents. Instead, they are all Brooklyn Tech scents! In the pack we purchased, there was the “Gym Locker Room” scent, and the “Spanish Classroom” scent. To the surprise of our writers, the scents are eerily precise. After taking a whiff of the Spanish Classroom pencil one of our writers exclaimed, "Wow! It smells like chamomile, just like my Spanish classroom!" The gym locker room pencil has an odor of sweat with notes of mildew which all our writers deemed to be accurate. The Tech scented pencil could have been a 5 out of 5; however, it was perhaps a little too realistic, because the gym locker room pencil was dripping with real sweat. So, we had to give it 4 radishes on the 5 radish scale.

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