The days just fly by, but that doesn’t mean the 67th Annual Grainy Awards this year are any less of a surprise: winner of the most consumed food award goes to…rice. A decorated title, even other foods that get nominated for this award are still in high praise. Actually, not that high, because no one ever remembers past the second best in any category. No, seriously, do you remember who the third person to land on the moon was?

Nom-inees include established foods such as African rice, Canadian rice, and Indian rice… am I reading this right? Then what’s the most consumed rice? Oryza sativa, also known as Asian rice? What’s the difference between it and Indian rice? We live in a post-industrial world, ingredients are now spread around the entire globe! Different nations don’t need to have different tastes!

In fact, there are other nom-inees that didn’t make the cut but are still eaten around the globe, such as bamboo and sushi rice.

Really? What’s the difference between sushi rice and the rice they serve in the school cafeteria? Sure, the cafeteria rice is concerningly dry, while sushi rice is fermented using vinegar and sugars. In that case , what’s the difference between sushi rice, long grain rice, and even sticky rice? It’s up for you to decide, mostly because we’re arguing against empirical reality. How much oryza sativa is there in the world to compete with other rice? A lot more than you think. Since egg prices are high, we might even need to synthesize rice, like carrying coal to Newcastle.