Scaffolding Older Than BTHS Building

Ivy04/03/2020March 2020



An astonished group of students alerted us immediately after it had come to their attention that no one had any idea when the scaffolding surrounding the school had been built. So, deciding that further investigation was warranted, we conducted some interviews. Firstly, we asked an elderly Brooklyn Tech alumnus about the scaffolding. When they kindly informed us that the scaffolding had been up throughout their time at Tech, it occurred to us that this might need more investigation than we initially thought. We then interviewed another Tech alumnus. “My great-grandfather also went to Tech,” she confided in us. “When I was a little girl, he once told me that the school's greatest flaw was its covering of scaffolding.” She also told us that her great-grandfather had attended the school in its very early years. In fact, he was part of the third graduating class at Tech. That really proved the point, but we decided some professional help could be useful. Fruitlessly, we tried to contact an archaeologist. But, for some inexplicable reason, everyone we called either didn't pick up or seemed to think that our case was not of the utmost importance. (I mean, come on, who thinks that studying an early site in the Dingwall area of the Scottish Highlands is a more valuable use of their time than investigating the mysteries of a high school’s scaffolding?) Due to this unfortunate delay, students had to wait for the winter to pass to undertake the work themselves. A few students worried about floating rumors that the administration could soon be taking the scaffolding down before we could resume the investigation. Fortunately, and as most of us expected, the scaffolding was still up when the warmer weather came. “I was determined to get to the bottom of this,” said a student who was determined to get to the bottom of this. The member of the highly professional, student-organized archaeological team spoke with us in a private interview after she had spent a particularly long time staring at the scaffolding from many angles. Finally, one pleasant day, a student made a startling discovery. It turned out the drawings on the north side of the building were actually ancient cave carvings. With this discovery, they thought back to freshmen year world history class. And, with their vague memories from that class, they deciphered that the carvings depicted scaffolding in the shape of Brooklyn Tech. Ancient scaffolding depiction Samples sent out to a reputable carbon-dating site were carbon-dated to 2500 BCE. (Take that, early Scottish site in the highlands!) After that stunning revelation, the archaeological team alerted the school administration of their discovery. In response, due to OSHA regulations prohibiting the use of sketchy ancient scaffolding, Tech called a scaffolding company to tear down the old scaffolding. Tech students rejoiced, for the school had been darkened by the monstrous scaffolding for so long. But when the students returned from summer break, they were met with a terrible sight: the scaffolding had been torn down, only to be replaced! So, now, despite extensive protests, the scaffolding is rumored to be scheduled for another few years. However, many students have questions as to what “a few years” really means. Some have even taken to writing to future students on the scaffolding. These times seem dark, but maybe someday in the distant future, there will be hope for taking down the scaffolding.

More Articles: Feast on these!

Top 10 best tasting sharpies

We all know Sharpies, the snack for your meeting room eating. Almost everybody has tried one of thes...

Timothy Ebegbe

All Articles!