Following the success of her re-recorded album 1989, famed singer Taylor Swift takes up an offer from local NYC high school to re-record their morning announcements.

“1, 2, 3 let’s go Brooklyn Tech! We know the old announcements All Too Well so it was time for a change, are you Ready For It? Don’t Blame Me if the news doesn’t meet your Wildest Dreams. I had an Epiphany when the King of my Heart, David Newman, called and asked me to re-record the Delicate masterpiece that is the BTHS morning announcements. At first I thought it was a Hoax, but the man has Style, so I decided to become a Mastermind. Tis the Damn Season of the holidays, and the end of the first marking period. Make sure to turn in all your assignments or lose your Happiness when your grades fall and, and you’ll have no choice but to Tolerate It. The theater department is Enchanted to announce the fall play, Lost in Yonkers. It had been in the works since August, One of the COSAs has turned into a Mad Woman orchestrating the masterpiece, to the point that her Cardigan disintegrated! A new cafe has opened on Cornelia Street, I will not be attending because I refuse to walk it again, but I Wish You Would go support the local business! The BTHS boys soccer team has made it to the playoffs! I want to remind everyone that we have no Bad Blood, rivalry, you can Call It What You Want, with other schools, but we are The 1! Remember that Daylight savings is in effect, and the sun sets shortly after tenth, so meet me in the Afterglow and take in the beauty of the early sunsets. Thank you for entrusting ME! to re-record your announcements. Remember to keep the hallways Clean, even though this place is far from Wonderland, we can keep it cleaner than Paris. Let’s make sure today Hits Different! A sincere apology has been issued to Samuel Ashkenas. No more whimsical Wednesdays, only Taylor Tuesdays.