Top 14 INSANE Ways to Ask Your Crush Out This Valentine's Day





#From the field

  1. Write a well-supported essay using at least four of the provided documents in order to back up your historical claim.

  2. Drill a hole in the ceiling and slowly descend with a rope carrying you mission impossible style. Then say some weird codename into your walkie talkie (like "Operation Make-you-mine is a success"). Then use a suction cup to grip the crush by the back. Now get your friend (realistically you won't have any so you need to beg your mom) to pull up on the rope hoisting you and the crush out of view where you can now confess your love in private (except for mom, she'll probably stay).

  3. What you have to do must be done very strategically. First you must make sure you and your crush are together in a quiet room with a lot of other people like a library or a quiet euclidean geometry classroom because witnesses are key. Then, be assertive. Do not say silly things like; "Wanna grab lunch some time?" or "Can we grab coffee?" because this "grabby" behaviour will give your crush the ick. Instead tell them in a decently loud voice: "You will go out with me." All of your witnesses will turn their heads and your crush will be stunned. In a happy way. You could also say, "Are you really asking me out?!" in an excited manner so they have no choice but to respond with an enthusiastic "yes!"

  4. Ask them out by carrier pigeon!!

  5. Bird-style mating dance

  6. Get too nervous and throw up on their shoes. Girls love guys who are vulnerable and not afraid to show emotion!

  7. did you just fart? cause you just blew me away

  8. Vodka is very good for getting lady. Make sure you have five bottle of vodka in drawer. I know you are 14 or older. Old enough. I was 4 when I first drank vodka. You are much older than vodka drinking age.

  9. Drop to your knees and beg. Shock factor is encouraged. The louder the thud of your knees hitting the floor the better. Snot and tears may help your case. Flowers optional. Singing and serenading are mandatory. The more onlookers the better.

  10. Throw stew at (on?) them.

  11. Walk up to them, say skibidi toilet, and then do the griddy.

  12. Let them take the first hit of your vape in the gender neutral bathroom.

  13. Dedicate a song to them on social media.

  14. Don’t. It’s too dangerous to risk possibly facing rejection. It’s clearly a better idea to just stay lonely forever.

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