What's Valentine's Day?

Lawer Nyako03/01/2022February 2022


So my girlfriend and I started dating a few months ago, and almost everything has been great. But things got kinda weird a few weeks ago, around the end of January. I assumed this was because the semester was over. But then she started talking about something happening on the 14th. That’s a bit after the marking period ends, and it’s a day before the only significant day in February, Annoy Squidward Day, which is on the 15th. 

Scared and confused, I asked my two friends about the date. The first one laughed and said they weren’t an expert on Valentine's day and that I should be, being the one with a girlfriend and all. I wondered, what is this mysterious “Valentine’s day”? What does my girlfriend have to do with this? The other friend I asked blinked rapidly, seemingly confused, and then ran away saying that they didn’t have the time or patience to explain it. They’re not normally this avoidant. 

I concluded that discussing this “Valentine's day” has adverse effects on adolescents, so I asked my baby cousin. He babbled at me, and while it was very cute, it was not helpful. Later, as I was leaving, my aunt and uncle seemed to be holding back laughter, which was confusing. I mean, yeah the kid was super cute, but they knew that already. Due to their laughter, I doubted they would give a real answer to what was happening on February 14th. I considered asking my parents but they always act weird before the trips they go on this time of year, so I just avoided them. 

I then decided to check the internet but I ended up seeing a lot about a saint and angel with a harp and bow. There were also a lot of rentals for restaurants, resorts, and exorbitantly-priced plane tickets. There were also sales on chocolate, flowers, and red stuff. This quantity of capitalism was not something I had the patience to understand.

Lost, with nowhere left to go, I decided to ask my favorite teacher what this “Valentine’s day” is during her office hours. “What is Valentine's day,” I asked her. She blinked and laughed at me. Why do people keep laughing at me? I just want to learn about this day. I felt betrayed. She said we could ask anything in office hours. 

As I started to leave the classroom, she asked “do you seriously not know what Valentine’s day is?” and mumbled something along the lines of how this was why her marriage ended when I shook my head “no.” “And you’re in a romantic relationship?” Maybe the mention of Valentine’s day has negative effects on adults, too. Why would she want to know if I was single… I ran.

Later I spoke to my girlfriend about this whole research-finding adventure, she rolled her eyes (likely due to the adverse effects of discussing this date for people), and gave me a heartfelt speech about how much she cared about me. Weird timing for a speech, but it was sweet. Anyway, I’m happy to have shared my escapades on this mysterious new holiday with you all.

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