Domenic DiPietro, Bora Bromberg ∙ 01/10/2024
Why AirBud is the REAL Basketball GOAT
(Disclaimer: The authors of this article have never seen any movie in the Air Bud franchise. Take any claims of GOAT status at your own risk.)
You've undoubtedly heard the debate before. Who is the greatest basketball player of all time: LeBron James, the ageless wonder, or Michael Jordan, the explosive legend of the 90s? We could go on and on about scoring titles, championships, MVP awards, and even cultural impact. However, one fact has been constantly overlooked in this heated debate: there's no rule that says a dog can't play basketball. Let's leave the humans to numbers 2 and 3 and focus on the transcendent talent of one Air Bud.
From a young age, Air Bud seemed to be fated to dominate the world. One great might be nicknamed “Air” Jordan – Bud came into this world as a predetermined MENACE. With his legendary agility, speed, and killer instinct, Air Bud rolled through his kennel leagues at an unprecedented level and was drafted at the young age of 3. One anonymous coach was quoted as saying: “We’ve seen plenty of players who have ‘that dawg’ in them before. Never before could we have foreseen somebody who is only ‘that dawg.’”
Off the court, Bud strengthens his case as the GOAT on the silver screen. Let’s count together: Michael Jordan has Space Jam. LeBron has Space Jam 2, and a handful of other appearances. THERE ARE 14 MOVIES IN THE ENTIRE AIR BUD DYNASTY. Not to mention, Jordan was carried by his animated superteam of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and NBA legend Elmer Fudd while Air Bud won it all by putting the team on his doggy back.
Let’s not forget about the Bud Dynasty! Air Bud is the father to five ultra-athletic puppies, each with the potential to surpass their father’s basketball prowess. Now in comparison, MJ’s sons have both had little success on the court, while LeBron’s sons are still being hyped up despite the undeniable eventual disappointment that they could never meet the level of the Buddies (the Bud progeny). Before we know it, every athlete will be a Bud-decedent. Doesn't that sound fun?
Are you picking up what I’m putting down? If you need anything else, let’s delve into some superfluous stats: 30 points per game. 12 assists per game. 50 smiles per game. The all-time leader in hearts warmed. A luscious golden sheet of fur. Proficiency in 4 other sports (seriously, look it up. They made 5 mainline Air Bud movies.) There is simply no argument for anybody else to claim the #1 spot. No other player has implanted himself so deeply in our society than this damn dog. Air Bud has been the GOAT, he is the GOAT, and he will be the GOAT.
NOTE: There is an Air Bud Wiki site. Do with that information as you will