BTHS Invests in Air Conditioners to Counteract School Boilers

Renee Ricevuto02/01/2020February 2020

#Timeless news

At long last! The most insurmountable issue facing Tech will finally be overcome! We at the Radish have been advocating for air conditioners in the school since its invention. It seems that BTHS has finally caved! Just yesterday, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, sporting a sweat-stained suit fashionably paired with a loose tie, agreed to invest in ACs to combat the "second summer." In order to come up with the necessary funds, money will be diverted from efforts to decrease lead in water fountains. "Nobody will believe us if we tell them the water fountains are safe, so what's the point?" argued You-know-Who whilst beads of sweat rolled down his face. A chemistry major carrying his winter coat and sweater in his arms was excited to hear the news. "You know how hot it gets this time of year." He added, "In chemistry, the acetic acid reached its boiling point before we even put it on the Bunsen burner." A freshman simply gave a damp handshake and ran off to DDP. Not all responses have been positive, though, and questions still linger. One Junior simply shook her head and said, "But how am I going to exfoliate now?" Upon hearing the news, a freshman worriedly asked which floor the 8th-floor gym is on. One student foolishly inquired, "Wouldn't it be easier to just turn down the heaters?" disappearing hours after asking the question. It seems that despite this pushback, the general reaction is excitement and extreme surprise that the administration is actually trying to get something done. "First ACs, who knows what's next! Maybe they'll finally get rid of SGO stickers!" exclaimed a girl. One can only dream.

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