The Case For A Carpeted BTHS

Aramie Ewen03/02/2022February 2022


I vividly remember sitting on my nonna’s back porch, eating a crusty slice of her old carpet. Every Sunday, our family would all get together and rub our grimy shoes all over that snugly-fit floor blanket that also keeps the bottoms of your feet from getting cold. We didn’t have much shoe crust to contribute back then, but we did our best. And life was good. I was reminded of these beautiful times this afternoon, enjoying my luxuriant 10th period lunch. Sitting in the cafeteria, I wiped the crust from the table with a fashionably-wrinkled pocket napkin. But, to my surprise, the glorious crumb collection fell uselessly to the bare, checkered floor without a struggle. That was the moment the idea struck me. 

At that moment, I was inspired like crust is inspired to crumble off of shoes and old food in the presence of a quality carpet. What if wiping crumbs off cafeteria tables could be a struggle, I wondered? What if our cafeteria tables could be as delectably grimy as my grammy gram’s old rug? BTHS students surely have more shoe crust than my family ever did.

Well, not only can our tables become carpeted and crispy, so can the rest of our school! We could begin the Carpeting of Tech with every bolted down item, such as cafeteria tables, desks, and similar table-like surfaces. This will include toilet seats, stairway railings, and the shelves of the vending machines. With such a gentle, noncommittal start, I’m sure people will have no problem accepting carpeting into other areas of their lives.

The cafeteria almost always runs out of food by my time in line, but with the never-ending supply of grime from the soles of BTHS students’ shoes that could be collected on these fitted carpets, I’ll be able to find a snack anywhere I go. So, get out there, rub the slimy soles of your shoes over those cafeteria tables, the backs of those first floor auditorium chairs, and, perhaps if you’re feeling adventurous, the stairway handrails. The floor is the limit.

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